Feisty Women - The Dating Facts.

Warning: Here be Feist

By Bella Bolognese

So it’s the New Year, you’ve gotten rid of your old socks and undies with holes in them (if you haven’t, do that now), you’ve signed up to the gym or that new Kundalini yoga class and made your new year’s resolutions. All that’s left is to now fill that empty cave that is your love life. Or maybe you’re stuck in a vicious dating cycle, always meeting the same sorts of people and you’re looking to shake things up. Hats off to you! And there’s excellent news for you on this front: the post-holiday period and right up to Valentine’s Day is one of the best times to dust off your online dating profile, as target websites and apps show that people flock to this arena to start the year on a positive note!

feisty dating If you’re on the interwebs right now looking for the woman of your dreams, then perhaps you might consider taking a good look at your dreams to figure out who that woman really is, not just what she looks like, but what does she like? How does she react to flowers? What does she believe in? Is she a Netflix-and-chill kind of lass or does she want to explore a different corner of Hyde Park every other evening? And the reason these reflections are important is that you will have a lot to choose from, an immense world of possibilities.

Most of all, you should know this:

There’s a fire lurking inside every woman you meet. Some will burn your carefully curated beard off the minute you lay eyes upon her, others will gently grow, burning brighter every day until that fire envelops you in a vicious (delicious!) Hell storm.

One thing is for sure: It’s great to land a casual date with a beautiful woman, but it’s an entirely superior experience to land a casual date with a beautiful woman who has that raging flame in her. Call it ‘Feist’, if you will, a word – and character trait – which is often misunderstood.

When you think feisty, you probably think aggressive, touchy, quarrelsome. You probably have this picture in your mind of a 5’1” small-framed Tinkerbell-like figure with clenched fists and face bloated and red with hysterical anger (probably over a shop-attendant swapping the price of bananas for ginger root or her boyfriend grabbing the Chanel purse instead of the Burberry one really wanted to wear with her too-tight all black leather outfit, or something equally trivial). A ticking time-bomb always on the cusp of exploding, and never willing to let anything go.

Well, while like with any stereotype there may be a modicum of truth in this colourful picture, it is not entirely accurate, as it fails to represent the many positive and attractive sides of feisty women, a group which also includes the fiercely intelligent, strong, independent, lively, combatant and courageous women of this world. Think exchanging suggestive alluring glances over a big bowl of saucy spaghetti with Sofia Loren as she strictly and passionately warns you of all the dos and don’ts for when you met her father and nonna later that day; getting in a Jeep Wrangler with Pink for your first paintballing date; fighting for the rights of house elves with Hermione Granger; steadying each other on the red carpet as you and Jennifer Lawrence give photographers a geeky thumbs up, or fighting stormtroopers alongside Princess Leia.

Or a classic: obviously forever the gentleman (you, for one, know perfectly well that Chivalry still has more than a fighting chance) you reach for your wallet to get that bill for the delightful Moroccan spice soiree she arranged for your first date (a sitting-on-excessivel-embellished-pillows-on-the-floor arrangement which your back and knees, quite apart from your stomach, will no doubt thank you for in a Peter Capaldi kind of way tomorrow). You observe as her eyes widen together with her smile as she proclaims clearly and gleefully that your gesture is entirely unnecessary and she insists that you go Dutch. Far from offending your noble chivalric sensibilities, this sort of behaviour surely does nothing but take this woman higher a notch in your esteem (and she needed it after that choice of restaurant): beautiful, quirky, and financially independent!? How can you say no to that!

I’m not suggesting you look for celebrities or your childhood heroines to date online, or that you give up gallantry or quiet nights in – everyone loves the latter, and I think we all know that the former would only end in heartbreak and the immediate development of muffin-tops. But do challenge yourself to look past your preconceptions and embrace the gutsier and self-assured side of Feisty, because, rest assured, it will be worth it.

Basically, if you’re looking for that delightful idea of a lady which so densely populates the collective imaginarium – they look good, the cook good, they’re good at typing and cleaning things, they can’t drive and they don’t swear – then probably you should question your validity as a human being before moving on from here (to read some books and talk to some real women perhaps). For readers and daters should beware: here be Feist.

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